Things we don't like


  1. Real flowers - they wilt and need care - plastic's much better.
  2. BMW's, Mercedes, etc. - I'll take an Econoline any day.
  3. Gourmet food - so little food, such bad tastes, such high prices!
  4. 100% wool or cotton - they require too much and too costly care - give me polyester or acrylic instead.
  5. Symphony orchestra concerts - especially playing 20th century music.
  6. Real wood furniture - vinyl laminate is easier to care for and harder to damage.
  7. Birkenstock Sandals - footwear of the truly effete snobs.
  8. "Serious" drama - hey, for $25, and especially $75!!, it had better make me laugh --- a lot.
  9. Pictures that aren't pictures of anything.
  10. "Cocktail" parties that serve only Perrier and vegetables.
  11. PBS - if I wanted educational junk, I'd go to school.
  12. backpacking - you mean people really LIKE to be uncomfortable? That's sick.
  13. Restaurants that serve crepes, but don't bring you any syrup.
  14. And even if they do bring syrup, it's some horrid tasting stuff made from a tree; I much prefer Aunt Jemima's.
  15. French paintings that look as if the artist needed glasses.
  16. Silly magazines with no sports section.
  17. ...and no fold-out? You don't really read that stuff, do you?
  18. Hi-fi systems with too many controls, like "equalizers" & "Dolby."
  19. The Motion Picture Academy, for not giving "Rambo III" the Best Picture Award; damn snobs.
  20. sprouts of any kind.
  21. Restaurants with ferns - who needs an annoying plant in the face; especially one that sheds.
  22. salad bars.
  23. mixed drinks. Why bother?
  24. Herbal tea - there's a good reason this stuff never catches on.
  25. Any bar with stained glass (except maybe for beer stains).
  26. Carob powder.
  27. Foreign language menus - what pretentious snobs.
  28. Gourmet food with wine in it! - a fine wine should be shaken first and drunk from a bag, if possible.
  29. Meaningful (i.e. pretentious) Fellini and Bergman movies with no redeeming merit such as nudity or action or good music.


Things we like

Back to PLO home page

Back to John Palmer's personal home page