- Montovani's music - great stuff, easy
- McDonald's burgers - good taste, fast
service, ok price.
- Vinyl instead of leather for gloves,
clothing, upholstery, etc. - cheaper, requires less care,
- Canadian wine - good high for the buck (in
- Shopping at K-mart - hey, they got some
good stuff there, ya know.
- Commodore 64s - good games and they're
real computers, too.
- Shopping Mall landscape art - isn't it
amazing how real those pictures look?
- Barry Manilow's songs - they capture the
true meaning of life.
- Hockey Night in Canada, Monday Night
____ball, etc. - great entertainment.
- "If I have to go to a 'concert', I
hope they play some marches - you know, something I can
hum along with and tap my feet to."
- Prime time television - when I get home
from work, I don't want tohave to think; I want to relax
and feel good.
- Winnebagos - why go camping without some
of the bare necessities of life?
- LaChoy Chinese dinners. - authentic and
easy to fix.
- Pictures of dogs playing poker; they're *so*
- Velvet Elvis paintings.
- Chicken Cordon Bleu; but other restaurants
should follow Arby's lead and put it on a bun. With
- Slim Whitman; he has an amazing vocal
- Beer in cans. None of this "fancy
rubber stopper" imported stuff. And forget the
- Red meat.
- 8-track tapes or auto-reverse sound
blasters: continuous play for Manilow and Whitman, of
- Cold pizza. It's not just for breakfast
- Velcro closures. Zippers, snaps, laces,
buttons are all passe' and much less reliable.
- Belching contests.
- Watermelon seed spitting contests.
- Ripplesole shoes - great comfort.
- Burt Kaemfert and Lawrence Welk - good
- Micky's Malt Liquor - "It gets you
- Tuna casserole and lime jello - quick,
easy, tasty, and sticks to your ribs.
- Boxcar Willie - the sounds of the lonesome
- Fake logs for the fireplace - easy to
light, no messy wood chips [to tell the truth, we really
prefer remote-controlled gas fireplaces. Or maybe those electric jobs
with the light shining on a revolving dented tin can to emulate a
flickering fire -- mmmm nice and homey.]
we don't like
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